The Random Book of Percy Jackson
by Lexie Daughter of Athena
Summary: Hello fellow intellectuals of the world, I am Annabeth Chase. I'm sure many of you already know me from the book my boyfriend, Percy Jackson, published about me, The Random Fact Book of Annabeth Chase. Well I decided to publish a book about Percy and all his...Percyness.
1. Intro

_I do not own PJO or HOO._

**The Random Book of Percy Jackson** By Annabeth Chase

Hello fellow intellectuals of the world, I am Annabeth Chase. I'm sure many of you already know me from the book my boyfriend, Percy Jackson, published about me, _The Random Fact Book of Annabeth Chase._ If anyone were to publish a book in this relationship, it would be me. But my seaweed brain of a boyfriend beat me to it! So I decide to get some revenge. This book is also a _random_ book, but instead of featuring myself and all the facts I say, it will feature Percy and all of his… Percyness. If you are looking for a book that will benefit you in life try the one mentioned above, because as I said before this is about _Percy_.

Much like _The Random Fact Book of Annabeth Chase, _this will be organised at random. I too will include where and how each thing happened so if you wish try them in a similar way you may (although I don't know why you would want to). Rather than facts, this book will feature lame Pick-Up Lines, Dumb Jokes, Seaweed Brain Moments, and whatever else I can think of; because like I said this is a random book about Percy, who is a random person. So hopefully (most likely) this will end up being a rather long book.

**Note:** If you find yourself becoming more like Percy, I am sorry but there is no cure that we are aware of.

Symptoms of Becoming Percy Include (But are not limited to):  
-Getting slapped for saying stupid things  
-Clumsiness  
-The inability to impress a girl  
-The inability to speak proper English  
-The inability to go a day without saying something stupid/obvious  
-People face-palming in your presence  
-Forgetting your girlfriend's birthday  
-Forgetting who you are and disappearing for 6 months...

Also I can not be held responsible for brain damage, failure to pick up girls, or becoming a rather random person.

~Annabeth Chase


	2. Headaches

_I do not own PJO or HOO._

**Headaches**

I groaned, and put my head in between my knees. I had just finished designing three statues for Olympus and all the while I was listening to three gods bicker about the statues. As a result I now have a massive headache.

"Hey Annabeth," I heard Percy call as he walked in, he took one look at my appearance and chuckled, "Rough day?"

I nodded in reply and immediately regretted it. "You have no idea… I had Apollo, Ares, and Aphrodite all shouting over my shoulder about how _Apollo has more statues than me, Ares statues are bigger than mine, I want my statues to be pink!" _I groaned just from thinking about it.

"I'm guessing the first one was Ares, the second one was Apollo, and the last one was Aphrodite."Percy concluded.

"Actually it was Apollo who wanted the pink statues."

He gave me a look that was a combination of horror, shock, and utterly confused.

I chuckled, "I'm kidding Seaweed Brain," he let out a sigh of relief, "It was Ares who wanted them."

He shot me a look; I grinned and got up to give him a hug. As I was standing though the pounding in my head came back and I groaned clutching my head.

"You okay Annabeth?" Percy asked with a look of concern on his face.

"Yeah I just have a headache that's all." I replied as he gave me a hug.

"Does your head hurt because you fell from heaven?" I looked at him to see a big grin on his face, I rolled my eyes.

"Technically I fell down from Olympus not heaven, and technically I floated down in a basket rather than fell."

He narrowed his eyes, "Yeah well technically you weren't born either, you were thought. And technically you shouldn't have a bellybutton, but you do anyways."

"Okay enough with technicalities, here's a fact: You need better pick-up lines. Now go get me some Aspirin." I said patting his cheek.

"Yes dear…"

**Lexie: And there's the first chapter! Yay! Thanks to Sean Son of Athena for the VERY lame pick-up line. Also thanks to ****IwooIdreamIwritestories ****symptoms of becoming like Percy last chapter. If you didn't see them because you read it before I updated it you should go read them. So what did you guys think?**

**Any guys ever use that pick-up line before? Any girls been on the receiving end of that pick-up line?**

**I don't know how I'm going to come up with names for the chapters! Because I have three topics rather than one! If you have any ideas on how I can specify if a chapter is a Pick-Up Line, Dumb Joke, or Seaweed Brain moment let me know. I still want to give them names like Headaches, but how would you guys know which type it is?**


	3. Dinosaurs

_I do not own PJO or HOO._

**Dinosaurs**

Percy and I had been walking around American Museum of Natural History for the majority of the day. Founded in 1869, the present museum is comprised of 46 permanent exhibition halls, a renowned library and a research facility that is housed in a complex of 25 interconnected buildings. It is considered to be one of the finest museums in the world. And Percy had been gracious enough to not only take me, but to listen to me ramble the whole time as well. Well for most of the time at least…

"Annabeth can we go yet!? We have been here for three hours!"

I sighed, but I should be grateful he lasted this long. "Just a little longer Percy. We haven't even seen one of the most popular sections."

"And what would that be…"

"The Hall of Ornithischian Dinosaurs." I rolled my eyes. Wasn't it obvious?

"I'm guessing that means Hall of the Dinosaurs." I resisted the urge to face-palm.

I let out a huff of air, "Yes Percy, that's exactly what it is. Now come on." I ordered, grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him to the direction of the exhibit.

I couldn't help but gasp as we entered the hall. One of the world's largest collections of dinosaurs was right in front of me.

"Wow. Now I see why it's one of their greatest attractions…" I could only nod in response as I pulled Percy over to the exhibit of the _Stegosaurus._

"Oh my gods just look at this!" I gasped, "Did you know that at one time, some scientists thought _Stegosaurus_ had a second brain since the one in its head seemed so small. The _Stegosaurus_ did, however, manage with the one small brain. Oh! Did you know—"

"Hey Annabeth," Percy called. I at looked at him slightly annoyed, he knew better than to cut me off when I was listing facts.

"Yes." I asked with a hint of annoyance.

"What do you call a dinosaur that gets into a car accident?" He asked with a lopsided grin on his face.

_Did he really cut me off for this!?_ I narrowed my eyes at him.

When I didn't respond he continued, "A Tyrannosaurus Wreck!" He exclaimed and broke out into a fit of laughter.

I groaned and didn't attempt to stop face-palming this time. I walked up to him and grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards the exit.

"H-hey w-where are we g-going?" He asked fighting his laughter.

"To the gift shop. We _need _to get you a better joke book."

"Oh what about this one! Why do museums have old dinosaur bones?... Because they can't afford new ones!"

"Definitely a new joke book."

**Lexie: Okay guys I think I was having hysteria or something today because I just found that joke SO funny when I knew it wasn't! I found it yesterday and I told it all of my friends today and I would just crack up every time! I definitely need to get more sleep. I mean I am laughing NOW at it. A tyrannosaurus wreck!****I think I might need help or something or maybe a nap… Please tell someone else finds that joke funny!**

**So you got a few educational things in this chapter! And you'll get even more about the American Museum of Natural History in the next chapter of Random Fact Book! Yes they are going to be connected! Hooray! **

**So anyone ever been to the American Museum of Natural History? I think I have been, I would ask, but it's cold and my bed is really warm now and I just don't feel like getting up.**


	4. Band-Aids

I do not own PJO or HOO.

**Band-Aids**

"Annabeth! Slow down!"

I rolled my eyes, Percy and I were currently walking to the Empire State Building and he was lagging behind.

"No you hurry up! I was supposed to be there fifteen minutes ago, but you had to go off and distract me when I was about to leave!"

"I don't know if you've noticed Wise Girl, but there is a wall of people blocking me!"

"Yes I am well aware of that, but is it my problem? No! Now come on!"

I could hear him grumble in response, and mumble an "excuse me" to the people he shoved past in order to catch up to me.

When he finally caught up he said, "There. Happy?"

I grinned in response and was about to continue walking towards our destination, when I noticed something wrong with Percy's shoe.

"Percy your shoe's untied." He glanced down at his foot and shrugged.

"I'll tie it when we get there because it seems that you don't follow our _Leave no man behind _policy."

"If you trip and hurt yourself, don't come crying to me." I huffed and continued to the Empire State building.

By the time Percy and I had reached the Empire State building I was nearly thirty minutes late for my meeting with Apollo concerning his temple on Olympus.

I was just about to enter the building when I heard a loud thump, followed by an "Ow…"

I turned around to see Percy on the ground with his shoe still untied.

"Percy I told you should have tied your shoe!" I said walking over to him. From what I could see he just scraped a knee. "Percy…" I said in exasperation, I knelt down to take a look at his knee.

"Annabeth do you have a Band-Aid? Cus I just scraped my knee falling for you."

I rolled my eyes at his cheesiness, but I had to fight to keep the smile off my face. "No I don't now come on we're late!"

"I don't even get a kiss to make it all better?"

I sighed. "Fine…" I bent down and kissed him on the forehead. "There better?"

"Much." He said getting up and walking over to the door. "Come on Wise Girl you're holding us up, let's go."

**Lexie: Did anyone else think that pick up line was really sweet? Sorry I haven't updated this in a while guys, homework sucks. I hope you guys liked this.**

**So anyone ever have this line used on you or by you?**


	5. Interior Decorating

**Interior Decorating**

Percy and I had been planning on redecorating our apartment for months. We had all of our furniture bought and we were ready to put everything in its proper place. While Percy was out at work I decided I would do just that.

I spent the entire afternoon setting everything up so it was just the way we planned it.

I was in my study when I heard Percy enter the apartment.

"Annabeth?"

"Coming Percy!" I called as I walked to the living room. "So notice anything different?"

"Are you an interior decorator? Because when I saw you the room became beautiful."

"Are you saying it wasn't beautiful before?" I said faking offence.

"Umm… No…. The apartment's awesome Annabeth, just how we imagined it."

"I'm teasing Seaweed Brain. Now I need you to do a few things for me. There are several shelves I need you to hang up, and if you would move that dresser over that'd be awesome. Thanks."

"But—" I had already walked out of the room. "Yes dear…"

**Lexie: Wow is this really short or is it just me? No its short, 173 words total.**

**So anyone here want to redesign their room? I know I do half of my room is pink because I used to share it with my sister.**


	6. Puzzles

**Puzzles**- They're both 19 in this chapter.

"Let me get this straight. You want two ADHD and Dyslexic kids to put together a 5000 piece jigsaw puzzle of a picture of the Parthenon?"

"Yes that exactly Seaweed Brain. Now come on." I said as opened the box to the puzzle and set it on the coffee table.

"But—"

"Now because you don't have the patience of trying to find the pieces and put them together, you are just going to organize them into two piles, edge pieces and center pieces."

"But there's so many of them…." He said staring blankly at the pieces on the table.

"Please there are _only _5000 and the majority of them are center pieces, so just find the edge pieces and you're done."

"Annabeth is it really necessary that we do a jigsaw puzzl—"

"Yes. Here now you already have one edge piece." I said sliding a piece towards him.

"Oh great that just means I have _a lot_ left."

"Quit your complaining. I did what you wanted to do last time, so you're going to do what I want to do this time. It's either this or watching a documentary on the History Channel."

He narrowed his eyes, "Pass the box…."

Put together a simple jigsaw puzzle turned out to be rather eventful, Percy and I ended up engaging in several puzzle piece wars (which I of course won), but we ended up finishing. Well almost...

"One more piece."I looked around the table for the last piece, but came up empty handed. Fearing it was lost during one of our 'battles' I looked under the table, couch, and even the carpet.

"Percy?" I called.

"Hmmm?" He said while walking out of the kitchen most likely eating the snack he was getting for us.

"Do you know where the last piece to this is?"

He walked over to examine the puzzle, and knelt down, "Hmmm." After a few more seconds he glanced at me.

"Well?"

He grinned and reached his hand behind my neck, "Am I the piece that finishes your puzzle?" In his other hand he held up the missing piece to the puzzle.

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't help the grin that came to my face. I quickly pecked him on the lips and reached for the piece. He immediately held it above his head so I couldn't reach it.

I groaned. "Percy, not now please…"

He chuckled. "You really want to finish this puzzle don't you?" I nodded. "Well I have a few exceptions. One; I get to put the piece in."

I sighed, "Fine, but you really don't deserve to."

He chuckled and bent down to put the piece in. "True, but this way I get to sat_ I _finished the puzzle, not you." He said as he stood up straight again.

I rolled my eyes, "And your other condition?"

He put his hands on my waist, and bent down next to my ear, "I get to decide what we do for the rest of the night."

**Lexie: So hoped you guys liked this chapter, decided I'd use my time being sick to write for you. Oh yeah I forgot to mention, I'm sick again. Sore throat and congested head, I've been out of school for three days so far, I may or may not stay home again tomorrow. **

**So did you guys like that Pick-Up Line? I did, I thought it was rather sweet.**


	7. Directions

**Directions**

"Percy! We we're supposed to be there over an hour ago!"

"I know you reminded me literally one minute ago! Now stop shouting and let me drive!"

"We're lost! Just admit it! I won't make fun of you and you man pride will not be damaged!" I persisted with my stubborn boyfriend. "Just stop and ask for directions!"

"No! I will not stop and ask for directions! In all my years of driving I have never asked for directions and I'm not going to start now!"

"Percy you've barely been driving for two years, not even that! More like one and a half!"

"Well I've been driving longer than you at least!" He shot back.

I shook my head at his elusiveness "Percy…I'm six months older than you and I got my license on my birthday, you on the other had got yours half a month after your sixteenth birthday. Therefore I've been driving six and a half months longer than you."

"Whatever! You weren't saving the world on your birthday!"

"No, but I was preparing for a war, while _someone _was off with Rachel and forgot to call and wish me a happy birthday."

"I told you I was sorry…"

"I know you did… and you made up for it don't worry."

"I did?" He shot me a confused look.

I cocked an eyebrow at him, "Yeah you sent me a book about Frank Lloyd Wright's most famous buildings. Don't you remember?"

Percy scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion. "Um Annabeth I never sent you an architecture book…"

I narrowed my eyes at him, "What are you talking about Percy? Of course you did who else would've? It even had a card in your handwriting, and I'll b honest with my sixteen year old self swooned as I read it."

"Annabeth you and I both know I have never been good at writing things that are romantic…"

"Then who…" I narrowed my eyes. "Aphrodite…"

"Or my mom…"

"I shot him an annoyed look.

"Yeah, but Aphrodite is more likely."

I scoffed and looked out the window.

"What did I do!?"

"I can't believe you didn't send me a birthday present!"

"I was fifteen! I could barely afford going to the movies!"

"Well you're lucky you had _Rachel_ to pay for you."

"Ugh! You are seriously being jealous over a virgin oracle right now, you do realize that right?"

I rolled my eyes, "How did we even get on this topic!? Pull over and ask for directions!"

"Annabeth… in case you didn't notice… there is nowhere to stop and ask!"

I looked around to see he was right, we were literally in the middle of nowhere.

I crossed my arms over my chest, "Next time I'm driving."

Percy chuckled next to me, "Good luck with that one, there's no way I'm letting you drive my car."

"That's it pull over I'm driving!" I said while unbuckling my seatbelt.

"Umm I don't think that's going to work out to well Annabeth."

"And why is that." I asked turning towards him.

"Umm we're out of gas…" He said preparing to get either hit or yelled at. He got both.

"What do you mean we're out of gas!? I told you to fill the tank before we left!"

"Um I guess I forgot…"

"You forgot." I repeated in a deadly calm voice.

Percy gulped, "It was a harpy's fault not mine!"

"Of course blame the harpy!"

"It's true!"

"You still should've managed to fill the tank!"

He threw his hands up in surrender, "What's the point! I'm not going to win anyways!" He shouted and the care entered a silent state.

I was currently thinking of possible solutions to our current dilemma when Percy broke me out of my thoughts.

"Can you give me directions to your heart? I've seemed to have lost myself in your eyes."

I looked at him with an emotionless face for several seconds before snorting. "Nice try Seaweed Brain. Now come on I'm pretty sure there was a gas station a few miles back." I said while opening my car door.

"Joy kill…" Percy grumbled while getting out of the car.

I grinned at his behavior, "Now are we pushing the car to the gas station or leaving it here."

"Oh we're bringing it, this baby's my pride and joy." He said hugging his car.

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Oh… second to you that is."

"Yeah it better be."

**Lexie: Hey guess what!? I'm not dead! Isn't that great!? Because as Annabeth would say "it better be." So I'm sorry for not updating in like forever! It's my literature teacher's fault! But the good news is I get out of school on May 23! Yay 19 more days! **

**So I'm currently writing a new story called "Why Bother?" it's in Annabeth's POV and focuses on her views on friendship and trust just before the second Titan war, hopefully that will hopefully be up soon, I'm more or less halfway done with it.**

**Now you all think your teachers are evil I'm sure, but do any of your teachers make you destroy a book for a project!? That's right a ****_book! _****And the teacher is a ****_literature_**** teacher! (I complain about him a lot, but so do all my other classmates.) So that's my sad story for the day…**

**Let's see as of right now there are 156 DAYS, 23 HOURS, 35 MINUTES, and 47 seconds until the House of Hades is released! I will post the link to the count down on my profile**

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter!**


End file.
